Masturbating for a (virtual) audience

This blog has made a difference to the way I pleasure myself. I'm now more attentive to the details, imagining how I'll describe my exploits for my readers (however many of you there are: I hope more than just my 5 followers! Please do leave comments, just to let me know I'm not writing tales of my self-abuse to an indifferent world...)

This morning I was undecided about what to do. I started off under the shower, caressing my body with my slippery, soapy hands, running them over my breasts and down to my buttocks, teasing my anus briefly before rinsing myself off and deciding that a wet wank wasn’t what I wanted at all. So I got out of the shower, selected a medium-sized bottle of hair product as a makeshift dildo (a nice circumference, small enough to slip in easily but large enough that I know it’s there) and headed for the bedroom, still damp and dripping from the shower. I lay down on the bed, legs spread and knees up, squeezed some moisturiser onto my finger and massaged it into my clit, relishing the slight stinging sensation it produced. I spread the moisturiser further down and plunged the bottle into my depths, in and out, as I played with my clit. Good, but… I still wasn’t satisfied, I wanted something more. So out came old faithful, to vibrate gently against my anal sphincter. I’ve said before that I’m not particularly into anal action, but sometimes it can be fun, and I do like playing with the entrance.
I hope you’re imagining me, naked on the bed, with a bottle up my cunny, old faithful teasing my arse and my good old middle finger stroking my clit, all slippery from the moisturiser and my own juices… what would you like me to do now, I wonder?
What I did do was squeeze some moisturiser on old faithful and slowly, slowly push it into my anus, in and out, a little at a time… clearly I chose the right sized bottle for my cunny as old faithful had no problems in reaching the depths of my rectum, and I teased my clit, bringing myself to the brink of orgasm, then putting everything on hold, playing with my breasts and imagining my virtual audience, before heading back down to give my clitoris what it wanted… and I came, bottle in my cunt, old faithful up my anus, pelvis thrust shuddering up in the air with the strength of my orgasm.

Sex and Song

There are certain songs which just ooze sex, whether explicitly through their lyrics or through a combination of chords or instruments. I’d like to share some of my favourites with you.

S.E.X. – Adam and the Ants
Not one of their greatest songs, in all honesty, but how reassuring, for a spotty teenager whose classmates were all boasting about “who with, and how many times” (to quote another Ant song), to be told that “virginity’s no crime / your body should be yours / and sharing it sublime.” It was to be another couple of years before I shared my body with anyone, but in the meantime I consoled myself with my own middle finger and Adam’s wonderful voice.

Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode
Everything about this song says “sex”. The throbbing bass line, Dave Gahan’s velvety voice caressing the words, the lyrics themselves – “Pick up the receiver, I’ll make you a believer,” the video, shot on a ranch in Spain, with not so much as a bare nipple on display but full of sexual suggestion just the same – just hearing it makes me wet. I believe, all right.


Lay your body down – The Divinyls
The Divinyls are most famous for a song about masturbation – “I touch myself” – but it’s this altogether darker, more sultry number that turns me on. Like Christina, I want to be the mistress of the night, a seductive temptress, making love until dawn with a willing body laid down next to mine.

Do you love me? - Nick Cave
I discovered Nick Cave relatively late, but was immediately hooked by his intensity and dark outlook. Listening to “Do you love me?” I yearn to be another kind of woman – more complicated, more moody, more temperamental, the kind of woman a song like that could be written about. I want to be swept off my feet and worshipped, adored and tormented, made love to by candlelight with Nick whispering fiercely in my ear as the wind howls and the waves crash onto the shoreline.

Back and ready to go

How lovely to come back to all these comments and new followers! I've been reading Jayne's Master's blog, and it's got me very horny indeed. I don't know how she can stand not coming when she plays with herself: I could never achieve that self-control. Nor would I want to, in all honesty. I love teasing myself but I love coming too much not to give myself that pleasure.

I'm sitting at my desk, fully dressed, and I've just pulled the blind down on the window so my neighbours can't see me (would I want them to? Yes... and no). I've pulled my trousers and knickers down and plunged a finger into my cunny: it's wet and my clit is throbbing. I give myself a quick rub, but inspired by Jayne, I want to draw this out as long as possible.

I've opened my legs and although I had a shower an hour ago, I can still smell the faint odour of my husband's cum from last night, when I masturbated myself to an orgasm as I sat astride his cock. It's turned me on even more.

I'm now teasing myself with a pen, plunging it in and out and rubbing it against my clit. God, that feels good... I'm pressing it up fast against my cervix and jiggling it from side to side, and it's so tempting to come like that, it feels so good! But I'm resisting heroically...

No, it's no good. The urge to come is too strong, and so I let myself go. Who'd've thought so much pleasure could be found in the shaft of a biro?

Last night I fancied a little wank...

Last night I fancied a little wank before I went to sleep. I had intended to use my key ring vibrator, a nifty little tool that is discreet, slips easily into the vag, is ideal for non-demanding self abuse but powerful enough to provide a satisfactory climax. I was planning on going to sleep with it inside me, easily done as its chain prevents any chance of it disappearing into the depths. But woe is me! Its battery was flat and I didn't have any others of the right size. I had to break out old faithful, a bog standard cream-coloured 6 inch ribbed job which is probably remarkably similar to most women's first encounter with any vibrator. (It certainly was mine - my first-ever vibrator was a smaller version of the same model, given to me as a joke on my 17th birthday. Joke it may have been, but it certainly saw intensive use.)

As I really wanted a sleepy kind of climax, I lay down on my side with old faithful between my legs, gently moving it up and down my flaps and occasionally plunging it down into my cunny. Of course, then I got more into it, turned onto my back and let my fingers do the talking. I thought briefly about popping a finger up my arse, but decided against it - it usually wakes me up too much to let me sleep for a couple of hours afterwards. So old faithful stayed in the place it knows best, pumping rhythmically in and out of my cunny, until my finger on my clit brought me to a climax.

I'm a wanker

I suppose that makes me sound like a man, but I don't see why I should be prevented from using a perfectly acceptable 4-letter word just because I haven't got the right bits!

I have always loved playing with myself. I can remember being aged about 8, and giving my vag an exploratory squeeze every now and then, just for that curious jolt of pleasure which came every time I touched a certain part: only from the outside, at that time - I don't think my finger ever ventured inside.

I was 13 when I had my first orgasm. I was rubbing myself through my nightie, when suddenly that pleasant tingling sensation became more and more intense and my finger moved ever faster until - well, until I came. It's a long time ago now, and I can't honestly remember if I was surprised or if I already knew about orgasms in theory. Anyway after that there was no stopping me, though I think it was still a while before I actually delved inside my nightie to the damp treasures within.

My hormones really started kicking when I was 14. It's normally teenage boys who are considered to be perpetually horny, but I had a permanent itch. I wanked in the school toilets, in the living room before my parents came home, and over and over again in my bedroom - no matter how often I did it, I always craved more. Of course, what I really needed was a good hard fuck, but I was still a virgin and had never tried shoving a finger up my vag - although I was in direct touch with my clitoris by then.